Skip to main content

Ornamental People

Imagine you're in bed, about to fall asleep. Your significant other is cuddled up to you (or on the other side of the bed, maybe you prefer a little space), your blankets are right where you need them, and you can barely keep your eyes open; not that you want to. Suddenly, your neighbor walks in. You're on good terms with your neighbor, but they're not your best friend or anything. Why are they in your room? Even more to the point, why are they stroking your hair and telling you how old and fat you're getting?

This is rapidly encroaching on illegal, right? Why is this socially acceptable to do to people who can't speak up to protest? Why are there people who feel the need to pick up, pat the head, or tickle the feet of every small child they encounter? Why are strangers more willing to touch a strange baby than a strange dog?

It seems to come back to the image of the child, and the idea that they are less human and more ornamental. It takes a perspective shift to see a child, who has evolved to be incredibly appealing to the adult eye, as an independent person with agency. From the moment they're born, babies clearly have preferences. One likes to be cradled, another prefers to be held upright over the shoulder of the adult. One is soothed by Disney soundtracks, another by Bad Religion. And yet the idea culturally held by adults is that children are universally content to be touched by strangers. While it's true that babies need touch to thrive, they need touch in the same way adults do- on their own terms, by their own preferred people. In the way a hug from a favorite aunt is preferable to a hug from a well-intentioned stranger, infants may accept affection from other people, but it does not have the same meaning as a cuddle from a principle caregiver.

In addition to immediate preferences, young children are always learning about the surrounding cultural expectations of them. Do we adults really want them to learn that other people always have a right to their bodies? Or can we teach them through our own actions that even from the smallest, they deserve the same right and comforts that we do?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Play Based Curriculum

My program is play based. When I say this, people seem to think that it is Lord of the Flies. The mud-covered clothes the children tend to leave in don't do much to dispute this. So what exactly is a play based early childhood curriculum? My lesson plans revolve around materials, not instruction. For example, the math center currently has a set of Picasso Tiles, a measurement set with a variety of standardized measuring tools, counting beads, and a Counting Cars board game. Do my plans for the week involve standing in front of this group of 3-5 year olds and quizzing them on each shape in the tile set, the addition and subtraction facts in the board game, and the names of the units of measure found in the measuring set? They could, but there's not a 5 year old in the world who would sit still for that. Instead, we play together. When looking for a dress to fit a certain baby doll, we measure how many inches tall the baby is to find something that fits. When building a ro...
1 comment
Read more

Ceci n'est pas un Octopus

I don't need to rally against typical preschool crafts, many   writers and satirists  and educators have taken up that cry for me. I try to take a balanced view- what are we trying to teach? And what are the children learning? A search for "octopus craft preschool" turns up many results like these: (credit to iheartcraftythings.com) Many are billed as "fine motor practice", "letter O recognition", and "numeracy" either on the initial webpage or in the notes of Pinterest pinners. And these are worthwhile goals! But what do the children learn about octopuses? What did they do to get roped in here? They're cute and all... but they don't really have much in common with this fella; I would like to present you all with a wonderful gift I received recently. A hand made octopus that exercised fine motor skills, required understanding of numeracy, and involved some processing of what exactly an octopus IS: Okay, this doesn't l...
1 comment
Read more

The Kid You Have

Just so that's in your head. For what it's worth, when applied to most of life, I hate that song. I am ambitious. If I don't like something, I change it. If I can't be "with the one I love", then damnit, I'm not going to be with anyone. I don't have that choice with my students. Despite the occasional fantasy of a child who is constantly on task, follows all directions to the letter, and never yells for a butt wipe (this is preschool, after all), I couldn't just take on those kids, even if they existed. Better writers than I have hammered home that children are too often held to higher expectations than adults. People who are worse equipped to handle sleep deprivation, hunger, thirst, and other discomfort and also expected to eat on a strict schedule, nap at nap time, play but not too rough or for too long or too loudly... you get the idea. So when one comes into my home, all booger nosed and ornery, we talk. As the adult, it's my j...
Post a Comment
Read more