While we were walking downtown recently looking for signs of fall and useful print, a man on the street made a comment that caught me off guard.
"Those are some well-disciplined children!"
Now, if you had asked me, I would have said they are disciplined. I also would have said they know what to do and we work well together. They know how to be safe in the road, we went out at a time when they weren't yet hungry or tired so they had the brainpower to follow street safety rules and staying to the sides of the road.
Undoubtedly the man was commenting on the children between me and my assistant (I was up front holding hands with the two youngest walkers, then there was a preschooler sandwich of four children paired up holding hands, then my assistant pushing the stroller with four infants and toddlers) who were walking carefully and safely.
I have argued before that we should be using the term "discipline" rather than guidance, because of it's stress on the internal work on the child (or adult) who is disciplined enough to act in a manner that might be contrary to impulses or immediate rewards. But somehow the phrase "well-disciplined" got under my skin.
Did this man think I had trained them like sled-dogs to get them to walk in their lines? Did we look like task masters, ready to act on a child running or heading too close to the road? Did he have the same idea that I do, and he just happened to fit an age demographic that made me assume he was equating punishment and discipline?
I'm going to keep thinking on this. Please give me any insight you may have!
"Those are some well-disciplined children!"
Now, if you had asked me, I would have said they are disciplined. I also would have said they know what to do and we work well together. They know how to be safe in the road, we went out at a time when they weren't yet hungry or tired so they had the brainpower to follow street safety rules and staying to the sides of the road.
Undoubtedly the man was commenting on the children between me and my assistant (I was up front holding hands with the two youngest walkers, then there was a preschooler sandwich of four children paired up holding hands, then my assistant pushing the stroller with four infants and toddlers) who were walking carefully and safely.
I have argued before that we should be using the term "discipline" rather than guidance, because of it's stress on the internal work on the child (or adult) who is disciplined enough to act in a manner that might be contrary to impulses or immediate rewards. But somehow the phrase "well-disciplined" got under my skin.
Did this man think I had trained them like sled-dogs to get them to walk in their lines? Did we look like task masters, ready to act on a child running or heading too close to the road? Did he have the same idea that I do, and he just happened to fit an age demographic that made me assume he was equating punishment and discipline?
I'm going to keep thinking on this. Please give me any insight you may have!
You make an interesting point in differentiating between "disciplined" and "well-disciplined", and I think you are correct in that the former is internal and the latter is external. I would tend to think that the man is older, again agreeing with you that his generation equates discipline with punishment. (I myself was raised with the philosophy that "children should be seen and not heard", along with other tactics of the time to enforce submission and obedience.) Ultimately, he paid a compliment to you and not the children. Your methodology, of which he is oblivious, deserves the compliment, and the children deserve acknowledgement as well for their (self) discipline.
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